My Dearest Komal, Anjli and Amar,
Tell me, is it our old age that is curtailing our communications, or is it just laziness? I have so missed writing to you all. Have you missed my letters? We are getting so settled into our normal routine, that laziness and unmotivated daily lifestyle is enveloping me. Or do you think it is plain old ageing?
Ageing is a natural part of life, but it does come with its own set of challenges.
The growing dependence on the internet can be quite frustrating at times. Take, for instance, my attempt to buy a simple train ticket. Nowadays, ticket offices are a thing of the past, and everything is done digitally. My eyesight has improved since my cataract operation, but before that, I would struggle to find my glasses, and by the time I did, the webpage I had painstakingly navigated to would have timed out. Then, once you’ve finally managed to select the correct ticket, the question arises – how do you pay? I eventually figured it out, but it was a process that felt like it required hand-holding. I felt foolish and overwhelmed, to the point where I broke down in tears. Over a train ticket, of all things! It was quite the spectacle for the other passengers on the platform. The takeaway from this experience? Embrace the internet, engage in a variety of activities, and don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone.
The next step for me is to incorporate AI into my posts(trying to embrace the digital world). It is jaw-dropping as well as frightening. Komal, I need a tutorial from you.
I asked AI to create a chart showing the ageing process. It came up with the following:
Thankfully I can relate to some and not all of the problems of ageing. Unfortunately many of the signs of ageing are apparent in the mirror. These days it takes me a lot longer to get ready. So a mission for you, if you choose to accept, how do you perceive my ageing?
Remember, all these are general issues and might not apply to everyone. Ageing can also bring about positive changes, like retirement and more free time to pursue hobbies and interests. It’s important to approach ageing with a balanced perspective, acknowledging the challenges but also recognizing the opportunities.
Some years back I did a course on Futurelearn, titled : “Strategies for Successful Ageing”. This course highlighted the following areas:
- Poor mental wellbeing,
- Depression(sadness, loss of interest, low self-worth),
- Poor Sleep,
- Fatigue,
- Poor Concentration.
The course also advocated ways of dealing with the ageing process:
- Be active: Regular physical activity can boost your mood and energy levels.
- Improve sleep: Aim for a regular sleep schedule and create a restful environment.
- Increase social interaction: Spend time with friends, family, and engage with your community.
- Open communication: Talk to people when you’re feeling unhappy or anxious.
- Exercise: Regular physical activity can help manage stress and improve your mood.
- Foster good social relationships: Strong social connections can help you navigate through life’s challenges.
- Practice mindfulness: Techniques like meditation or yoga can help you stay focused on the present moment.
- Learn a new skill or language: This can provide a sense of accomplishment and purpose.
- Reduce alcohol: Limiting alcohol can help maintain your physical and mental health.
- Eat healthier: A balanced diet can support your mental and physical wellbeing.
All these suggestions are wonderful for the dad and myself but they are equally beneficial to your generation too.
After doing the course I decided to learn a new skill to help delay the ageing process. I bought an online course, via Udemy, to learn to play the guitar. We have a guitar at home already, so no extra expense. We have a piano too, and perhaps that can be my next project. Anyway the guitar course was downloaded on to the computer 4 years ago. I am still looking for the right time to start it.
Perhaps I should take heed of the author Rayden Fernandes. At the moment I am reading his book -How to be the main character of your life. One of his key advice is to commence on a new idea without delay.
I wonder if this ageing process is affecting my driving skills. As you know I have been driving for over 50 years and pride myself in having acquired a lot of practice. “Practice makes perfect”…..or does it? Before Dad retired, I probably did the larger portion of the driving. I needed the car for running the business and doing shopping for a household of seven. Driving was a necessity to do all your school runs including the extra-curricular activities. I loved it. That was my “me time”. The Hindi music blaring and me singing along. How we enjoyed those journeys, right Amar? These days I seem to have lost the confidence of driving. I seem to spend more time cursing than driving. All this shouting and shrieking is so annoying Dad. He feels that I am not appreciating this ultra-modern posh car. Has his partner lost her marbles?
Again I asked AI to draw up a chart showing the difference in car technology over the past 25 years. Using AI in the Canva app, this is what I came up with:
Reading this summary now really makes me feel the age. All the basics of getting a driving license are out of the window.
For every advantage of the modern driving listed above, I can relate a screaming episode of mine. I am desperately trying to convert these screaming episodes to funny moments. Dad is beginning to believe that he has married a deranged woman.
- Navigation: “Dopey” as we call the GPS voice is always clashing with my old fashioned sense of direction. Many a times I am shouting Left and she is instructing me to go Right.
- Dashboard: Our very advanced dashboard can detect eye-lid movements. So much so, that once while driving, the car “thought” I had fallen asleep and started beeping loudly and stopped. What had happened? My phone had dropped to the floor and I in my confident state decided to retrieve the devise whilst driving. What a big blow to my confidence. Definitely a screaming episode. Okay Komal, I agree not quite an advanced driver move.
- Connectivity: Oh please bring back my old Mini with that very easy cassette player that Neshmama so kindly installed for me. Then, a turn of the ignition and MY music would have roared. These days it is all about the connectivity of the internet, or the correct phone, or the relevant App. All this I would have to manoeuvre while driving…..always hurrying to get to the destination. I got into this bad habit trying to juggle all the earlier balls of work, home and children.
- Driver Assist: To me this feels like a wrestling battle with the steering wheel. This feature is making me reassess my safe driving abilities. I get it: I have to engage my indicator first before the car will allow me to change the lane. So who is in charge here? For me the auto brake makes for a jerky journey. My own father´s motto always comes to mind: The passenger´s comfort should be paramount in the driver´s mind. Our executive car does not allow me to conform to this ethos.
- Diagnostic: These days all cars are connected to the phone via the relevant App. Presently it keeps informing me(at least three times a day) that the car battery power is low. (Dad has to hear my scream of “Not again”) I have not learnt to ignore it so far. I always fear that the car will stop while I am driving.
- Key: It is all well and good to have keyless entry, but when the battery goes flat, we have had many anxious moments. Another incidence was when we had gone to the local Abfall centre just as it was closing. We were so busy recycling, that we did not notice the car handles receding into the door with the keys sitting pretty in the car well. The manager came to inform us that the centre would be locked and he had no way of letting us out. Panic, Panic. Luckily we did manage to get into the car and now we know other ways of escaping such situations.
- Updates: These are supposed to happen when the car is not being driven. Usually they do, but we have had occasions where we have had to wait.
- Voice Control: I am not a fan of this feature. I do not even use it on the phone. Dad loves it. Half the times, “Dopey” has not understood the command and ends up referring us to the car manual. Other times it has not understood the destination and ends up with “can you repeat that please”. Oooooh.
- Parking: All the sensors and cameras have made me a lazy driver. Even with all these sensors, I have ended up banging the car many times. Mainly due to lack of enough sensors and cameras.
- Autonomy: Overall the idea of driverless cars gives me the creeps. All the fun of using your acquired skills of a good driver are of no use. Just like everything else in todays world, anything that goes wrong: blame it on the technology.
Enough complaints of the car. The important question is: Is this all due to technology or is it my ageing brain? Do you get the impression, I am moaning all the time? Just like the new old-fashioned manual sewing machine I have bought, my next new car is also going to be an old-fashioned-manual.
Now that the letter writing bug has been awakened in me, I already have ideas for the next one. Be prepared.
Bye for now, be good, and write a letter or two to us or to each other. How is the cooking going? Any special recipe you are searching for? Always happy to upload new recipes. Do let me know.
Sending you all lots of love, hugs and kisses
Vishfully yours
Mum